The Economic Crisis and the Overwhelmed Mom

If you have been fortunate enough to survive the lay-offs at your job, you are most likely thankful that you still have an income, and you try to go above and beyond at your place of employment in order to survive the next round of lay-offs that may come. However, no one ever seems to address the fact that when people get laid off from their jobs, the work doesn't go away with them. The fortunate folks who escape lay-offs are now stuck with double the workload.

What does this mean if you are a parent? It means that while you are working longer hours and bringing your work home, your children and your budget suffer. Your budget suffers because you are forced to pay out more money for before and aftercare for school aged children. Your budget suffers because you are forced to buy dinner at times due to time constraints. Then when you get home it's like "off to the races!" Homework, dinner, dishes (if you have any to wash), bath time, maybe laundry, packing lunches for the next day, setting the coffee pot, laying out clothes for tomorrow, and then if you have anything left, you try to do some work for your job and end up sleeping on the couch for a few hours. (That is a typical school/work night at my house). It's tough to manage all of the daily responsibilities of a parent alone, now we add on our crazy work schedules and maybe a commute (I commute from Newark, NJ to the Bronx, it's awful, Monday-Friday). When are we supposed to find quality time to spend with our children? When are we supposed to find time for ourselves so we can feel like human beings? It's enough to make a mom want to get a "Window Seat." (I know when I first heard Erykah Badu's song "Window Seat" I felt her pain and that became a part of my vocabulary whenever I get stressed), but I digress.

The economic crisis has affected everyone in society. Those who are unemployed have the daily stress of looking for work and trying to keep food on the table and not lose their homes/apartments/cars, etc. Those who are fortunate enough to keep their jobs are faced with doing double the work, taking work home, ignoring their kids, being stressed out and being overworked in fear of losing their jobs.

What's the answer? Make some time for yourself to keep yourself from going insane and blacking out on your kids. I know, you're like yeah right! I found an aerobics class that I go to on Mondays & Thursdays from 6:30pm-8:00pm. It's free and I've made some friends there. My daughter is allowed to come with me and she plays with the other kids who come with their parents. It's for women only. It's in Irvington, NJ at the Chris Gatling Recreation Center at 285 Union Avenue. If you are local then stop by, it's free .99, pay the .99 no mind!  If you don't live in the area and you don't have access to a place to go for time for yourself, put your kids on a schedule and get them in the bed by 7:30pm or 8:00pm. Then you will have a few hours to yourself before you hit the bed. In that time, just take 20 minutes to read a book, do an exercise DVD, dance around the house (with your ipod on so you don't wake the kids) like you are at the club, do some Yoga, jumping jacks, anything that stimulates your body and mind, will give you a release & a moment of peace. I don't know about you, but stress makes me crave snacks & sweets. Exercising keeps me from getting my cookie, cake & chips on.  At night the last thing you want to do is eat junk food because you'll wake up one day and realize that you now have to add "new clothes" to your budget because you can't fit into your clothes anymore from stress eating. Been there recently!

The cure for reversing the effects of stress eating for me is doing the Sacred Heart Soup Diet. It is a 7 day detox diet that is based on you eating this fat burning, cleansing soup for 7 days with the combination of fruits, vegetables, and then meat and finally rice. The best thing about the diet is that when you are on it, you will save so much money on food for the week. You lose weight and save money. I fix regular food for my daughter, and I stay on the diet. You can find the instructions for the Sacred Heart Soup Diet at www.idiet4u.com. My trick to make the soup taste good is I put curry in the soup along with some fresh stalks of Thyme, garlic powder and chopped garlic and a little sprinkle of red pepper flakes. Delicious. Making the soup taste good is really important or it will be hard to stay on the diet.

My strategy for making time for myself and making it through the work week with my schedule is that I cook enough food for the week on Sunday and seal it up in containers so that dinner is a 1 minute nuke away when we get home.  We do dinner & homework before I go to my aerobics class so the bedtime ritual can be quick when we get home.

Friday night is hang out night with my daughter. We usually order Domino's Pizza and play board games and watch a kids movie of my daughter's choice. In that time we talk about school her friends, social issues that 6-year-old girls face in school (you'd be surprised) and we just kick it so my child knows that she is important to me and that I acknowledge that our weekly schedule is crazy, and we have to make time for us to just be together. When it gets warmer outside, we will probably make time to go to the park on our hangout afternoon/night, or go to the movies if there is a movie out that we haven't seen yet. Making time means putting yourself and your kids on a schedule, enforcing the schedule and sticking to it. You have to become organized. I'm not perfect, sometimes I get into a vegetative state and don't want to anything when I get into "Window Seat" mode, but I always regret my procrastination or lack of sticking to it. However, I don't beat myself up if I have a moment where I just need to sit down and rest and do nothing. We are human beings, not machines, no matter what our jobs or bosses may lead you to believe.

In the midst of the economic crisis, don't forget to be a human being. Be kind to others, be loving to your kids! Catch yourself when you start to lose who you are in your daily routines and schedules, and begin to snap at everyone who crosses your path. At some point there might be a little person that looks a little like you who just needs a hug and some attention, and your mood might be scary to them. They need to be reassured that your stress has nothing to do with them and they are safe, cared for and loved. We also need to love ourselves and take care of ourselves or we will be no good to anyone around us who needs us. Don't feel guilty if you take time out to do something for yourself you have to do it to stay sane. Who knows what peril is right around the corner in our society and our lives each day. Be thankful for all of your blessings and hold the relationships you have with your kids, family & friends very dear and close to you. At the end of the day, they are depending on us for love and understanding. That's the stuff you can't buy out of your paycheck!



by Kyeatta Nailah
Caffeine addicted mom   

Happy Holidays

Recovery from Shoveling & Beating Cabin Fever with my Child

Here I am, stuck in the house, just me and my daughter 2 days after Christmas, because of the blizzard. Well, so far I went outside about an hour ago to shovel the snow off my walkway and dig out my car. I handled my business out there! Unfortunately, when I cam back inside, my fingers were in excruciating pain from the cold. I didn't know what to do! I was about to take some aspirin to ease the pain. Instead I remembered that the 5 hour energy shots send a surge of Niacin through your body and there is an increase in circulation near the skin. So I reached for my last 5 hour energy shot (grape flavored) and downed it like a shot of tequila at a Mexican bar. Suddenly the circulation returned to my fingers and the pain subsided. That 5 hour energy shot is a small miracle in a bottle (quick fix for hypothermia or frostbite alleviation? Don't quote me, I'm not a doctor, but it worked for me).

Now, for the hard part of my day...how to entertain my child and be productive while home bound.  We will spend a little time cleaning up the Christmas mess with all the toys (I have a 6-yr-old daughter). We have to get "Doll-fest 2010" organized and under control. I have a dollhouse to put together and I have to choose a location in my daughter's room for that. At some point today I have to find a way to get her to burn off some energy before the day is over, as I'm sure most parents need to do to keep the peace in the house and ensure that the kids sleep soundly tonight. This evening I am going have my daughter do an aerobics DVD with me and then we can have a dance-a-thon in the living room. We will close out those activities with the Yoga DVD my mom gave me for Christmas (thanks mom!). After that it will be bath time. That should ensure that my daughter will pass out and get to bed on time. I'm going to keep my daughter on her usual bedtime regimen to ensure that she gets her rest, and I have some me time. Even on the holiday, we as parents needs to make time for ourselves to stay sane!

This is a bit off topic, but why does NYC Mayor Bloomberg try to read anything in Spanish in public? It's a disaster! He should hire someone else to read instructions/information in Spanish for him. That would create a job for someone bilingual who is looking for work. (Watching the news and I just had a wondering).